On Again/Off Again

Per usual, I was perusing my favorite celebrity gossip websites and came across the news on Sienna Miller and Jude Law…OFF AGAIN! The heart strings were tugged. They’ve been through so much together: Engagements, cheating with nannies, new relationships, reunions, etc. It’s not the butterfly & roses relationship you watch on either one of their movies, but the on again off again nature of their relationship that made it clear there was something real there.

So why does Jude & Sienna’s personal relationship seem to affect me so much? It’s very reminiscent of a past relationship…not so much the engagement, cheating with a nanny, or paparazzi, OK really the only thing that Jude and Sienna had in common with Prince Charming & I was the on again/off again.

CUE THE MEMORY LANE MUSIC

I met Prince Charming when I first moved to Charleston. We started off on the wrong glass slipper, that’s for sure! My second week in town, he was running his mouth saying I went home with one of my co-workers…WHICH I DID NOT! I happened to be in a long distance relationship & he called me THICK! Honestly that’s the part that bothered me the most (however, he wasn’t completely off base. I did gain over 20lbs when I moved to Tennessee…Southern Food! It’ll get you every time).

A few months later my boyfriend and I broke up, the 20+ lbs came off, the weather started to get a little cooler (amazing how the Fall can make you fall for someone), and I found myself engaged in a few random make out sessions with the man I originally couldn’t stand.

The courting period with Prince Charming was INCREDIBLE! He was one of the most thoughtful men I’ve ever met. Flowers were delivered, the dates weren’t your typical dinner and a movie, he wanted to show me new places, try new things in my brand new city, and always had a way of making me feel special…

Then I did it. We went out on a romantic date, he took me to his friend’s holiday party, then we ended up at a Christmas Party at Bar 145 Rest In Peace Bar 145. While at the party, the Mistletoe was circling the room and I was kissing everyone, including one man that I might have been friendly with…ok we were flirting. Shame on me…I know. Somehow Prince Charming and I ended up losing each other. I came back to my purse and a text saying he left. Always a gentleman, he left money in my purse for a cab. I text him asking him where he went. He came back, took me home, but I could tell he wasn’t happy. It was over.

A few days later I sent an apology card. I mean we were on a date that night and I was laughing it up with another man in the corner.  He ended up accepting my apology, and to my surprise, things started up again. We were hanging out for a few months when the ultimatum talk came up, Commit or Quit! I couldn’t commit. It was over…again.

That is until we ran into each other, hung out for a few, ultimatum was issued, and just like the last time..it was over.

This happened multiple times. It was an on again off again relationship for around 2 years UNTIL FINALLY I was ready to be Prince Charming’s girlfriend. He was willing to give it a shot but was hesitant because I had been so wishy washy for the duration of our situation or undefined relationship. Nine months after going by the title “GF & BF”, we broke up. I can’t remember why we broke up or what exactly happened, but it was over…again.

There was one more reunion after the official break up and this time we truly went our separate ways. Even though Charleston is a pretty small city and we knew the same people, we managed to only run into each other a handful of times in the 2 years post break up.

The week before I moved to DC, we connected platonically one last time over dinner. In Prince Charming fashion, he brought a Guide To Washington book to help me out in the big city. Sitting with him that night, just the two of us, being able to say all well most of the things I wasn’t able to during and after our relationship: thank him for the good times, apologize for the things I needed to apologize for not enough room in this blog to spell those out HA, and wish him well. I felt a sort of closure. I walked away from the relationship with a new found friendship or acquaintance-ship or whatever you want to call it because I really don’t believe exes can be friends.

He’s moved on.

I’ve moved on.

As much as I know that, and know it’s better that way, there is still a small piece of me that can’t help but question the dynamic of this type of relationship.

With an On Again/Off Again relationship, how do you know this time it’s really off? Even more than that, was it ever really on?